Friday, April 13, 2007

Davie isn't dead!

Thank god! Now, I can share with you all the sneaking suspicion that has been lurking inside me for the past few days - Davie had kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, left us for a better place... Only he hasn't and the blighter has finally written to us, to inform us that he is staying about 300 metres down the road. 'Apparently' there was no internet on Flores - and what happened to "The three amigos," "all for one and one for all," etc? Hmmm... Am half intending to hug him in joyous relief and half planning to slap him round a bit - might do both.

So Matt squealed. He is such a snake! I was going to return to Burma triumphant, demonstrating my enormous capacity to 'rough it' with the best of them, to backpack on $2 a day, to revel in the moldy environs of countless, airless guest house rooms... But now I have to come clean (and yes, I mean come clean - I have the best shower in the world in my bathroom) and admit that I have cracked and fallen at the last hurdle, and I have a room that is cleaned daily, has hot water and a comfy bed. Now it must be pointed out that Matt gave you the erroneous impression that I pushed for an expensive place in Lovina, whereas it was in fact that famous, penny pinching miser who plumped for the luxury (with me trying to argue him out of it obviously - and getting very upset when I failed).

But now he can hear again - and I can no longer wind him up by mouthing words at him and watching him strain (and no, that never got boring) - he is back on form and paying $6 a night. I just couldn't face another place where the toilet wouldn't flush and the towel actually started inching away when I reached for it.... and most importantly I am allowing Matt to feel superior in a down to earth way!

Unfortunately, spending $40 a night on a hotel seems to have opened my financial floodgates, and I have just spent two days purchasing half of Ubud. How I will get any of my stuff back on the plane is a mystery which shan't be examined until the day after tomorrow! I have bought two enormous paintings, and enough silver jewellery to open my own shop. I must stop!!

Matt went to Dempesar today to find a big shopping mall so that he could buy lots of branded products. Sounds just like him doesn't it? We'll meet up tonight to compare shopping tales... thus continues the amazing adventures of the Bali trio! Don't worry, I'm sure Davie has some bona fide adventures (wrestling dragons, battling pirates and ignoring internet places for example) to share with you all.

He can do the next blog!

Tash

Thursday, April 12, 2007

This is the week that woz

It's almost a week since our last blog, plenty of catching up to do, and I have the bloody misfortune to be doing it in a dark internet caff with a black keyboard. So don't be surprised if the typing goes a nit idd un places.

Blimey, where to begin? Cheerio Davie, he goes off to Flores (perhaps, he never actually told us in the end! He could be lap dancing in Kuta for all we know (ugh, away with you, nasty image) and we go back to Bali. I fall gravely ill for a day or two, feeling off-colour and slightly off my food. Coupled with my deafness on the right side, I'm all vulnerable and bu the time we've got oop north (of Bali), Tash has turned this to her advantage by getting me to part with wads for a stay in a top of the range pad. Ahhh actually I bloody needed it...

Anyhow, the beach in Lovina - toilet. The backdrop - mmmm, gorgeous. We hire a motorbike and go off into the lush forested hills. Tash greets the screaming schoolkiddies as they wave like mad uns at us - hope it was all polite wot they were saying?! We followed directions to a waterfall, but it turned out to be a horizontal type of waterfall i.e. a stream. Hmmmm....

We also got to do some bloody amazing snorkeling in the national park, with all manner of colourful denizens of the deep dancing around for our delight. Big uns, small uns, multi-coloured uns, massive sponges, intact coral... I'm sure they all have names, but I'm a bird expert and there was neither sight nor sound of feathered friends down there. Anyhow, twas the best snorkel of the trip.

Lovina is famous for its dolphins. Hundreds of the things infest the seas around there, and so it was with great excitement that we got up at the unearthly hour of 5.45am to meet up with Flipper and his super-IQ pals. We waited on the beach for the guests accompanying us on this trip to arrive. And waited. And waited. And sodding waited. It's 6.40am when Capn' Birds Eye realises that there's been 'a mix up' and that we are, in fact, the only people on this trip. We zoom out to the dolphin zone, passing all the other boats as they're coming back in. Tash's ears are a-steaming with anger. We see 3 dolphins. From a distance. The poor blighters are chased hither and thither by the other boats so we can 'get a better look' - presumably tourists want to see bits of fin and beak being chopped up by propellers!

Then it's off to Kuta. We can't find a room, it's hectic, we're hot, we're bothered, so we give it the finger straight away and go to Ubud. Tash splashes out AGAIN on a plush pad, and I leave her to find an affordable hovel - if I can't swim with dolphins, then I'll scurry with rats instead!

Matt

Friday, April 6, 2007

The evening after the night before

We have said goodbye once again to our mate, Davie Channon. Due to the unbelievable feeling of sorrow in my snow white breast I had to retire to my boudoir for the day and did not make an appearance until the evening (oh, ok, I admit it, I was really, really hungover). Matt used that time much more productively by walking around the island and taking photos of lots of little birds sitting on wires.

Last night we did have a bit of a marathon drinking session - but one could argue that every holiday needs one! My excellent suggestion of one shot of tequila providing a 'second wind' late in the evening, was unfortunately taken up rather too enthusiastically, and nine shots (each) later we were a little the worse for wear. I lost my room key and was determinedly marching towards the beach to bed down for the night when Matthew stepped in and asked the guy on duty for the spare (thank God), and Davie decided to have one last sip of 'Gili moonshine' and woke up this morning on the beach laughing his head off.

So, we have done this town! Off in the morning for pastures new, adventures beckon tantalisingly. We are thinking of going back to Bali and exploring the north as it has been talked up a lot by locals and tourists alike. And from there it is but a short hop to Java, where there is an excellent, twitchy, national park.

Matthew is sitting next to me, right now writing to Mr. Channon to try to convince him to join us. It is true that at about 2am we had worn him down, and it was group hugs all around and cries of "The Three Amigos!" but now Davie is in Sengiggi on Lombok (spending a final night with Asta) and we worry that Davie's independent spirit will reassert itself and take him away from us on a flight of dragon fancy.

So stay tuned to find out if the triumverate tears apart, or if the socialist community ideal wins out...

Tash

Thursday, April 5, 2007

There be dragons


Well dear readers, we are still here in Gili Trawangan - it has this inescapable quality - captives in paradise, we roam the main strip in search of more crusty baguettes, tasty coffee, cocunut shakes mmmmm and other less mentionable items...

Anyway, our brief sojourn together seems destined to end tomorrow - at least temporarily, as I have decided I must follow in the footsteps of the great Portugese explorers and reach the mythical end of the world where 'there be only dragons' (Komodo dragons as it turns out). My companions seem to understand my vision questing needs and appear content to enjoy more accessible delights and so I will mount the heaven bird and ascend the cosmic tree to the island of flowers - Flores...later we plan to meet up again in Ubud for some delicious last day shopping...that is if I'm not taken prisoner on a pirate ship...

It is really beautiful here..yesterday I wandered around one of the other islands here - gili Meno - as lovely a place as you could wish to find - a step quieter than Trawangan too..

Well folks, Tash is sitting next to me trying to master the technique of transferring photos to the blog - any advice gratefully received...while Matthew is in an enforced silent meditation - his ear has apparently been blocked by sediment and he is like the proverbial deaf old uncle - "what d'ya say??" It needs to be syringed so they may well accompany us on the ferry tomorrow back to Lombok...

who knows what will happen next - it's like 'Big Brother" or 'Saudara Besar" in Bahasa...will Tash go mental trying to figure out the blog, will Matthew go permanently deaf, will I really ever reach Flores?? Will we ever meet up again???

Tune in later for the next sparkling adventure of 'Champagne Chicken' ...

Davie

Monday, April 2, 2007

Comedy of errors


Aha, now in fact I DO exist...and this was proven finally in the Tir Na Nog Irish pub on a glorious Monday afternon - 13.00 noon to be precise - when a miracle occured - something so unexpected - so impossible to imagine - so unusual on a holiday like this one (booked through 'surreal journeys inc"?) - yes, readers - we all met up! I had thought we may never see each other again and that it might be nice to send them a postcard "wish you were here" - but the gods deemed otherwise.
A lovely 15 minutes of mutual incriminations later - soft blue waves licking at our ankles - what could have been 'MAD' (mutually assured destruction) turned into hugs - after all - the frustrations we felt were a result of wanting ('aching') to be together - yes, the gili's were working their space hippy magic - 'all we need is love..(a soft pillow would be nice too, mind).

Since then, all lovely - Asta joined us on the beach and we spent the evening watching shite DVDs in a very cosy gazebo - sipping wine - nibbling nachos and other globalised nonsense.

The whole KL 'misadventure' now seems eminently worthwhile..a few worries about how I'll get back notwithstanding - we plan to go to Gili Meno this afternoon - none of us has ever been there - more snorkelling - so far I have seen two eagle rays!! - magnificent! and today a close turtle encounter - what more awaits on this holiday that never begins or ends where we think it will...?

Davie


Saturday, March 31, 2007

A figment of our imagination


We are finally on Gili Trawangan, and it is absolutely, gloriously paradise-like. So relaxed and chilled out (no police and lots of terrible substances available!) that we are already almost comatose.

Well, except for one small nagging worry that keeps us slightly stressed. We have realised that Davie does not in fact exist. Now anyone reading our blog may already be aware of this unsurprising fact and in have wondered why we kept going on about having a holiday with 'Davie.' You talked amongst yourselves about the strangeness of two people having the same imaginary friend, but shrugged it off as harmless and faintly amusing.

Well, we have finally woken up. We have been on a wild goose chase, and have used this as an adventure on which to base our holiday. In our wild imaginings, Davie is in fact here on this island - has been for a few days. We arrived yesterday evening and fantasised an email from him saying he'd be around a certain area, and we waited, and waited...and waited. And then we wilted and went to find the place where he was staying.

Now, all of the beach bungalows are along this 300 metre stretch, and we had 'thought' that Davie had said he would be in one particular one, Nusa Tiga, at the end of the beach. OK. We started walking, and walking, and at 10:30pm, after climbing over rocks, going up goat paths and becoming increasingly bewildered, we stumbled across the place (about 5 kilometres away from everywhere else) and found it ominously quiet - we started whisper/shouting 'Davieeeeee' until someone came out of their bungalow and told us he was on the beach with Asta. We high-fived - we had done it! We went to the beach......

Of course, no Davie (but you knew that didn't you?). We trekked back, Matthew stumbling over every rock and Tash cursing curses she has never used before.

We have had to come to the conclusion - Davie just does not exist. We will now go on to enjoy the rest of our holiday in glorious relief and relaxation.

Tash

Friday, March 30, 2007

On the quest for the Lunaticus

And so the search for that most exotic, elusive of species, Channonus Lunaticus, continues. Fresh droppings found in a recent email led us to believe that he'd be present in the sleepy little Balinese port town of Padangbai. Alas, we arrive to find excellent Davie habitat but no evidence of any specimen fitting his description.

He's clearly a flitting, restlessly migratory type, rather hard to pin down. This is odd, as reports suggest that in the wild he can become, well, rather wild, and is thus quite easy to spot.

So tomorrow the hunt shall move on to the island of Gili Trawangan, just off Lombok. The vegetation type here is reportedly perfect for the Davie, so we may then finally be able to log him in our species list.




And then we're gonna bury the bastard headfirst in the sand.

Matt